Being Honest with myself

Never in my wildest dreams would I ever thought I'd admit to being an abused wife.  Of course from the outside, it doesn't look that way. In fact unless one knew what to look for , no one would ever suspect any form of domestic violence was happening.

I'm actually ashamed that I allowed myself to be in this position.  If it was physical abuse, someone, somehow may or may not have noticed by now. But the  emotional, verbal and financial abuse I deal with everyday is so very easy to hide.

Still humiliation is humiliation and I know better than to allow it to go on for so long. Why then? Because it has gone on for so long and maybe I have allowed myself to believe the cruel words and treatment.

Still somewhere deep inside of me, I know what he says isn't the truth and that I deserve better yet......it is still so very hard to muster the stength to put it all behind me and move forward....